The "why"

Every story has a beginning. I've been asked more than once why and how I got in to the photography 'biz, (I assume *and hope* it is because people are genuinely interested and not just making conversation) so I'm writing this post to let you get to know me a little more.


If you've taken the time to read my bio, this is along that same route. If you haven't here's the sparknotes.


**But please bear with me if I ramble; my 7 month old has a personal vendetta against sleep today. So here I sit, with her climbing my face.**


WHICH BRINGS ME TO-


I have kids! Two of them! Mila and Quinn. They are my world, my life, my wonderful sun spots from above -and will probably also be the death of me. They are soul crushingly beautiful and wickedly smart. (So. We will be having loads of fun in their teenage years- ha!)



Mila and Quinn

But man, they are just flying through life. Quinn is 8 months. Not 7 (like I wrote 15 minutes ago). LOOK AT HOW FAST THIS HAPPENS, GUYS.


I. can't. make. it. stop.


But, it's absolutely mesmerizing to watch. When I moved to Omaha I didn't know the first thing about photography. I was an artist. A painter, specifically. I worked for theaters and universities around the city painting during college and met my husband while we were carpenters for the Nebraska Shakespeare Festival. (If you haven't gone, you need to check it out.) I was rollin' with my 'purpose' and knew exactly what I wanted out of life. So I thought.


Oil painting of Keith Richards


I have to laugh. Don't you miss being young and knowing everything?


I started taking some film classes for photography, and although I felt like digital photography was just 'so overdone' (insert eye roll) I thought film was unique and artful. (At least I had that part right). I became obsessed with the darkroom. Modifying, dodging, burning. Roll after roll of screw ups and magic. But it really was an art. You had to have patience.

I did not.


So I moved to digital- which was SO MUCH EASIER in my early 20's brain.


I'd love to insert a gif of "YOU KNOW NOTHING!" right about now.


Thousands of years later I sat in a hospital bed watching my husband meet our daughter for the first time. She reached up and grabbed his finger and his entire body relaxed. His face was absolutely glowing with pride and love and complete surrender. I grabbed my phone and took a picture. Every time I look at it I am just overcome with all of the same emotions.


My 'why' moment.


That's when I got it. I knew nothing, and she meant everything. They meant everything. This moment WAS EVERYTHING. So I started playing more. I made some very poor attempts at doing her newborn photography session myself.

*I. Do. Not. Recommend. This.*

I made some incredibly...unique...choices of editing over the next few years. I failed and failed and failed.

Then, I got sick. I mean, I had been sick; but not like this. The meds got bumped to a level that made us very nervous and made us re-evaluate nearly everything about our lives.


AND THEN A PINK PLUS SIGN POPPED UP. (Isn't that always how it goes, haha!)


Hello, Quinn.


Finally, I invested in myself and buckled down. I took workshops, safety seminars, spent every night LEARNING instead of just operating. I was always meant to create, but I knew I needed to create from the heart and just accept every little plot twist life gave me.


But I didn't just want to take pictures of 'stuff that happens because it goes too quickly'. I wanted to create ACTUAL ART of the moments that make your heart spill over into oblivion because that is how I see life- as art. The good, the bad, the painful; it's all an incredibly moving. I was never able to sell my paintings because they were like my babies. I had invested SO MUCH of my heart and soul in to them, it would physically hurt me to think of selling them.


But with newborn photography, even family photography.....it is so much better.


I am able to pour myself into my art for others. And that is INFINITELY more rewarding. There is no bigger compliment than doing a reveal and having clients cry happy tears from seeing how insanely beautiful their life is, right at that moment, with just the right lighting. 


Art is emotion. You can get in to logistics about composition, angle, color and lighting dynamics, (and all of those things help) but in the end my art is a visual representation of connection. I want you to feel it as much as you see it.


So, I guess, that is my 'why'.



And now to get one of my 'why's' to GO TO SLEEP.





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